Psychologists define parenting style as a set of standard strategies parents employ when raising their children.1 There have been numerous studies, articles, and books written about parenting both from the parenting styles and the dimensional perspective, and how they affect children. Baumrind’s research is widely regarded as a pioneer in the field of parenting styles. She introduced a typology that distinguishes between three styles of parenting: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. 2
Maccoby and Martin sought to connect Baumrind’s typology and the parenting dimension. Based on the pair of dimensions – demandingness and responsiveness – they defined four parenting styles: authoritative (i.e., high demandingness and high responsiveness); authoritarian (i.e., high demandingness and low responsiveness); indulgent (i.e., low demandingness and high responsiveness); and neglectful (i.e., low demandingness and low responsiveness).3
Authoritative parenting is characterized by reasonable demands and high responsiveness. While authoritative parents might have high expectations for their children, they also give their kids the resources and support they need to succeed. Parents who exhibit this style listen to their kids and provide love and warmth in addition to limits and fair discipline. This approach to parenting avoids punishment and threats and instead relies on strategies such as positive reinforcement.
In authoritarian parenting, demands are high and responsiveness is low. The authoritarian parent combines low levels of warmth with high levels of control and employs a strict discipline style characterized by minimal negotiation with the child, high expectations, limited flexibility, frequent use of punishment, and one-way communication from parent to child (Baumrind, 1991). Authoritarian parenting has been shown to result in children becoming hostile, delinquent, rebellious, and aggressive (Baumrind, 1991). Research has also found that a child’s early experience with excessive parental control tends to correlate with the development of anxiety (Chorpita & Barlow, 1998) and depression (Rapee,1997)4.
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Those with permissive parenting tend to be low in demanding and high in supporting their children. Permissive parenting is sometimes known as indulgent parenting. Their children tend to rank low in happiness and self-regulation and are more likely to have problems with authority. Parents using this approach are lenient, do not expect their children to adhere to boundaries or rules, and avoid confrontation.6
Uninvolved parenting is a parenting style characterized by low responsiveness and low demandingness. The uninvolved or neglected parents tend to provide little support, express little affection, and rarely make demands on their children. They rarely set family rules or provide guidance for children’s behavior. They tend to spend more time on other aspects of their lives at the expense of their families. Generally speaking, children with uninvolved parents suffer in nearly every sphere, lacking high levels of cognitive ability, attachment, emotional development, and social skills. As adults, they may have difficulty forming relationships due to the lack of love and emotion they receive from their parents.6
Do parenting styles actually matter when raising children?
After studying parenting styles, as mentioned above, I have a question: do parenting styles actually matter when raising children? Is it true that children raised by the same parents in the same environment display the same characteristics and personalities? In my experience, I have seen quite a few children who, although raised by the same parents and living in the same environment, grew up to have very different personalities.
The unique qualities of both parents must be valued and integrated.
The art of parenting cannot be taught or acquired by a trainer or skilled person. Parenting is a personal mission, process, and perseverance. It is important for parents to cultivate and discover their natural parenting abilities. The dimensions and styles of parenting differ among socioeconomic, ethnic and cultural groups, as well as between couples within the same group with varying personalities. I and my wife are both unique, as are all people. As individuals, we are bound by our memories of the past, our self-conscious attitudes toward the present, and our dreams and visions for the future. As couples and parents, we have learned that along with our unique characteristics, we also share a past, present, and future. We both acknowledge that, our marital happiness and parental fulfilment are dependent on how well we value each other’s unique qualities and integrate them. Both of us acknowledge that our marital happiness and our parenting abilities and qualities stem from how we value and integrate each other’s unique qualities.
Parenting is not merely imparting knowledge of parenting styles; it is a process of acknowledging parenthood, nurturing self-awareness, expressing love and affection, and enforcing discipline with good intentions and responsibility. Parents can cultivate these qualities by discovering them in themselves. We realized that we cannot raise perfect children because we are not perfect ourselves. Therefore, we both believe that it is our responsibility to demonstrate to our children that we learn from our errors so they can learn from theirs, and grow stronger and more capable as a result.
Parenting is more about inspiring and mentoring
Thus, parenting is not simply a matter of instructing, but also of emulating. Parenting is not necessarily about mastering a certain style and method, it’s mostly about nurturing and mentoring. In contrast to just setting rules and principles, parenting is what fathers and mothers cultivate by integrating their values into their children’s lives, helping them to grow and develop as whole individuals rather than simply habits. Discover the joy of parenting and cherish the opportunity to raise your children.
References
| 1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles 2. Kuppens, S., & Ceulemans, E. (2019). Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept. Journal of child and family studies, 28(1), 168–181. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-018-1242-x 3. Thomas G. Power.Childhood Obesity.Aug 2013.S-14-S- 21.http://doi.org/10.1089/chi.2013.0034 4. Lang, D. (2020). Parenting and family diversity issues. Ames, IA: Iowa State University Digital Press. DOI: https://doi.org/10.31274/isudp.8 5. https://www.psychologyinaction.org/psychology-in-action- 1/2018/4/23/k17ziyfqt1vy9tlytr9l9k48epdnur 6. Kopko, K. (2007). Parenting styles and adolescents. Cornell University Cooperative Extension. Retrieved from: https://www.countrysideday.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Parenting- Styles-and-Adolescents.pdf |
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